Emptiness

I'm in shock. I have no idea how the last three days went by. I practically haven't touched work, and I can't figure out how I spent those hours in the office.

Everything seems more vivid, and yet blurred at the same time. The sights and sounds of the city seem brighter and clearer, and yet more distant. The experiences beckon to me, and yet even if I have them now they will be incomplete. The dreams seem closer, and yet more out of reach.

There is an emptiness inside me, an infinite void.

However, there is also cautious optimism. The anguish will pass, the mind will be still once more, and I will come out of this experience stronger, happier and more mature. And so will she. Hopefully we will be better individuals, and better together.

***

My feelings of despair and delight are quite well represented by this beautiful music: 

Discipline, Success and Wisdom.

For most people, it takes a number of attempts at anything to get it right. You have to persist, and if you are disciplined enough, you'll eventually get where you want to be.

I've realized a few things since I've started working. Discipline is very important for success, no matter what you do. If you identify, organize and prioritize your tasks, have action items, and complete those action items according to plan, more likely than not you'll taste success. And things don't change overnight. Changing yourself takes time, and is difficult. Even though everyone wants to change for the better, not everyone is successful because at some point you just give up. The key is to keep at it.

It's not like I've suddenly discovered the formula for success or anything. These are pearls of wisdom that have been around for generations. And that's another thing I've learnt. Understanding comes with time. You can try to have the right mindset, but you can't force yourself to believe in something unless you understand it and the belief comes from within.

Unfortunately, as I read somewhere, age is too high a price to pay for wisdom.