Addiction

Those times when you're freshly addicted to something and don't have a clue how the hours melt away. Priceless.

But also productivity destroying :-/.

Rain, Oh Beautiful Rain!

After weeks of oppressive heat, intermittent cloud cover, and the heavens threatening to burst open, they finally just did. And its awesome!

Rain somehow always makes me feel happy and light headed. The feeling when I'm fully drenched in freezing cold rain water. Pure exhilaration. And the smell of the earth afterwards, heavenly. The only downside is I feel like dropping all work and just lazing around, drinking tea and smoking cigarettes lol.

I just really wish someone was here to share this moment with me.

Discipline, Success and Wisdom.

For most people, it takes a number of attempts at anything to get it right. You have to persist, and if you are disciplined enough, you'll eventually get where you want to be.

I've realized a few things since I've started working. Discipline is very important for success, no matter what you do. If you identify, organize and prioritize your tasks, have action items, and complete those action items according to plan, more likely than not you'll taste success. And things don't change overnight. Changing yourself takes time, and is difficult. Even though everyone wants to change for the better, not everyone is successful because at some point you just give up. The key is to keep at it.

It's not like I've suddenly discovered the formula for success or anything. These are pearls of wisdom that have been around for generations. And that's another thing I've learnt. Understanding comes with time. You can try to have the right mindset, but you can't force yourself to believe in something unless you understand it and the belief comes from within.

Unfortunately, as I read somewhere, age is too high a price to pay for wisdom.

Goodbye, sweet night.

It's funny, only yesterday I was thinking how much I love the night and how much I would hate to give up her company. And today I realized that to be successful in my current situation (yes, I mean my job), I'll be seeing her a lot lesser than I would like to.

Goodbye, dear friend. I shall miss you a lot.

PS: Thank god for weekends.

Happy Post :)

If you have noticed, most of my posts are kind of sad and depressing. Which makes sense, because according to my thought process here, every time I spend time thinking about my life and what I'm doing, I feel sad and depressed. Also, today is a Sunday, and I tend to start experiencing Monday Morning Blues on a Sunday morning itself. Hence, this was going to be another sad and depressing post.

However, an insane (yet amazing) person has asked me to make this a happy post. She says writing a sad and depressing post is easy, because that's how I feel. She says writing a happy post will take more effort, but it will make me feel better. And guess what, I'm already feeling better. 

She says she'll help me get better at life. By talking to me, motivating me to do my best, and also doing well herself. I honestly believe collaboration and healthy interdependence work. I've made a number of attempts in the past to try to collaborate with people, but it's difficult, and with one or two exceptions I've mostly been disappointed. But I'm going to give it another shot.

Anyhow, cheers :).

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Since I'm in a happy mood, I'm going to share a happy picture. 

Guilt and Innocence

Why is it so easy to do things that make you feel guilty, and yet so difficult to do things that you know are right? It is not difficult to live life without really thinking about what you're doing. It is not difficult to project an illusion of success, to even believe the illusion yourself. But unless you're truly satisfied with your life[1], there's always that thing gnawing at the back of your mind which tries to force you to think, to figure yourself out. And if you actually pause and think for two seconds, it's not difficult to see your life come crumbling down in front of you. 

Whenever I take the two seconds to think, it is somewhat clear to me what I should do to get where I want to be. It's the doing it that's difficult. Even though I know something will make better, more competent, even if it is something as simple as taking a walk each morning or being true to my work, I just can't seem to get myself to do it. It takes a monumental effort to even take one step in the right direction. Yet it is so easy to take a million steps in the wrong one. 

I am always running away.

Is it just me?

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Note to Self: Be strong. Keep fighting. And keep thinking.

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 [1] The only way you can be truly satisfied is if you're truly successful and have achieved all you wanted to in life, or if you're a complete idiot. And in either case, you don't give a damn what the world thinks.