A Eulogy For A Friend

Harry has passed on.

As I embark on this difficult task of writing a eulogy for him, I know that there are no words I can write which will do him justice. Yet, I must. For myself as much as for him.

My earliest memory of Harry is from the first year of college. It had been only a week or two since we had joined. Most of us were experiencing life away from home for the first time, and everyone was reacting differently. Kishore took me to Ujjawal's room one day, and I met this unassuming, chilled out surd who somehow looked a lot different from the typical "surd" image that had been created in my head in those few days in Punjab. He talked about music, movies, football and other geeky stuff I could totally relate to. And he seemed quite uncomfortable in uttering abuses which seemed to flow quite naturally from most people's mouths.

We quickly became friends. He was as big a Manchester United fanatic as I was, and we watched all our football together, often having to scour the entire campus to find a TV in some hostel that was playing the right match. We started participating in coding competitions and such together, and did other geeky stuff together. I looked up to him since those days. He knew so much, and he taught me that you could find the answer to anything if you looked hard enough.

We watched the 2008 UEFA Champions League final together. Manchester United against Chelsea. It was an amazing game, and right in the middle of our final exams. There were only a few of us crazy enough to ditch studying mathematics, load ourselves with chips and soft drinks, and spend the whole night watching the game. It was an epic night, one that will forever be etched on my memory. I was so happy by the end of it that I was jumping around in joy, treating everyone to my mom's brilliant homemade sweets. Harry right alongside, of course.

Our friendship deepened as time passed. Even though I was living in a different room, I spent a lot of time in Harry's room in the second year, especially during exam time. None of us studied till practically the last night, and everyone handled it differently when the last night came. We were among the lucky group who knew how to exploit the system and ended up getting decent grades somehow. I was always pestering him for help, though. I remember one particular evening when Harry, Ujjawal and Sam decided that we should wrestle. I was left gasping for breath, and everyone had tears in their eyes from laughing too much.

His indecisiveness was legendary. He took his own sweet time making his decisions, be the situation big or small. He was not easily swayed by what other people had to say. But once he made a decision, he stuck by it - and they were generally good decisions.

Being a gamer naturally goes with being a geek, I suppose. All of us loved to play games! There was this phase in the third year, when we had all moved to the J Hostel, when we started playing multiplayer Unreal Tournament - Harry's favorite game. He was the most excited of all of us, and of course the best. Being football freaks, we also played a lot of FIFA together. Our contests were epic. We usually had days - either he would kick my butt or I would kick his. I still remember the day when I beat his Spain with France in FIFA '09, when I was down to 10 men. FIFA geeks will understand the meaning of this.

A few of us stayed back in college during the summer vacations after the third year, to attend classes for CCNA. It was a weird 9 or 10 days - the heat was oppressive, and everyone wanted to go home. Harry was the only one among us who actually completed all 4 modules of the certification.

Placement time came in 2010. It was an exciting time, everyone was moved into action. I was lucky enough to be selected for an internship at Juniper Networks, alongside Harry. I was very happy that day, for I knew my association with Harry would continue beyond college. When I got placed at Goldman Sachs, it was a bittersweet, because I knew Harry was really keen on this job, and his name was in the final three, but only two were selected. It would've been epic.

We came to Bangalore together for the internship, stayed together in clumsy room at a paying guest accommodation, made our first honest buck together, and had some truly spectacular experiences - the most notable being witnessing Wayne Rooney's bicycle kick winner over Manchester City at the official United Bar, and then attending a Bryan Adams concert the next night. My leg was in a cast, which made the weekend even more epic!

We ended up taking a flat together with Gunjeet when we started actual jobs after the internship - he continued at Juniper and I moved to GS. He was always moving around the house with a football at his feet, kicking it against the walls. I think it helped him think. He was obviously doing brilliantly at his job.

He was always calm - I've never seen him get really angry at someone or raise his vocie (The only time I've seen him irritated is when people called him "Rose", which was his nickname!). He was infinitely patient - I've seen him on the phone for hours, trying to help his dad figure out what was wrong with his modem. He was witty and fun - he could poke and irritate people without uttering one abusive or angry word. He was always confident, always moving forward, always looking for the next best thing, and not afraid to reach out for it.

My last memory of Harry is us dancing around like idiots at a foam party, then watching the second half of a football game and playing pool. And then, me saying "good luck" to him that fateful morning as I drifted out of sleep for a few seconds as he was leaving.

I miss him. I miss him when I watch football. I miss our crazy conversations and stupid arguments. I miss being jealous of him because he was so amazing. Now, I'll never have the chance to try to beat him. I probably wasn't his best friend, but he probably was mine. And I'm not ashamed to say I'm crying as I write this.

His father said that even though he'd had a tiny life, his son had made him proud.

His screen name was "reallyunreal". It was just perfect.

Be at peace, brother. And shine on!