Winds of Change

There's one thing about myself which I know without a shadow of a doubt. I'm a "status quo" kind of guy. I'm usually okay with the way things are going. And I'm shit scared of change, especially if it's sudden.

Unfortunately most major changes in life are sudden. They may be planned, but they're still sudden.

Things have been changing ever since I left home for the first time and went to college. But now I'm staring at the biggest changes so far in my young life. I'm starting a new job, moving to a new city. I'll also be travelling out of the country for some time. Also, I'm about to leave the fortunes of a certain project I'd been working on with friends to powers higher than myself. I'm also going away from her, and I have no way to know if she'll follow me.

I've been saying this about every vacation I've had for the past year: This is the last time I'll get to spend so much time at home. Now it's finally true. Today is the last day I spend at home as a kid. Tomorrow I go out into the big bad world and fend for myself. No wonder when my mom was coaxing me out of sleep this morning, I mumbled to her "Mom, please keep me at home only."

That horrible feeling I mentioned here, I have it again today.

Winds of change are blowing.

PS: Not to take away the positive things about change. I'm embarking on a new adventure. I know I'm going where I want to go, at the moment. Both physically and professionally. And I firmly believe times of major change are the easiest times to work on oneself. But that doesn't change how I feel about it.